Do your bit to help foil the food manufacturers’ evil plan to put a morbidly obese child in every classroom; put those oven-ready hash browns back in the freezer, reject that dodgy potato salad, don’t eat hot cross buns before Easter, and do try this at home...

Quick Brown Bread

This is perfect for those of us who like the idea of baking our own bread but know we’ll never get round to doing it properly. Don’t be too heavy handed with the syrup – I’ve said this in some of the other recipes with golden syrup because, for me, the temptation to ladle it out of the tin in great dollops or squeeze the bottle too hard is overwhelming – otherwise the bread will be too soft and break up easily when you try and cut it. (Turn the loaf upside down when you slice it, in any case. It works better this way for some reason.)

1/2 lb (225 g) plain wholemeal flour
1/2 lb (225 g) plain flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/4 pint (125 ml) milk
1/4 pint (125 ml) boiling water
1 tbsp golden syrup
1 tsp vinegar

OPTIONAL:

Crushed sunflower seeds, pumpkins seeds, or sesame seeds sprinkled across the top of the loaf just before it goes into the oven.

METHOD

1. Pre-heat the oven to Gas Mark 5 (190°C) and liberally grease a standard 1lb loaf tin.
2. Sift all the dry ingredients into a very large mixing bowl – tipping the grains from the wholemeal flour back into the bowl afterwards – mix them together and make a well in the centre.
3. Pour 1/4 pint (125 ml) of milk into a measuring jug and fill with boiling water straight from the kettle to the 3/4 pint (375 ml) mark.
4. Add the golden syrup and vinegar to the hot liquid and stir for a few seconds to dissolve the syrup.
5. Pour the liquid into the well and mix it all together with a large metal spoon to make a loose, sticky dough.
6. Scoop the dough into the loaf tin and use the back of the spoon to paddle it down and spread it out as evenly as you possibly can. Sprinkle seeds on top if you’re using them and bake in the middle of the oven, Gas Mark 5 (190°C) for 30–40 minutes.
7. Turn the loaf out of the tin and tap the bottom; the hollow sound it makes means it’s done.

Soda Bread

This isn’t the best bread for toast and sandwiches, but on its own with butter, or as something to have with soups and stews, it’s great. (It also keeps for a couple of days wrapped in foil and freezes well.)

If you want to add any of the herbs or seeds listed below, mix them in with the dry ingredients at the beginning and keep a bit back to scatter across the top just before the loaf goes into the oven.

DRY INGREDIENTS:
12 oz (300 g) self-raising wholemeal flour
4 oz (100 g) self-raising white flour
1 oz (25 g) brown sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
...
1 oz (25 g) butter
1/4 pint (125 ml) milk
About half a large (500 g) pot of natural yoghurt
2 oz (50 g) porridge oats

OPTIONAL:
2 tsp dried (or 2 sprigs of fresh) rosemary, thyme, or sage
2 tbsp seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, caraway) roughly chopped

METHOD

1. Pre-heat the oven to Gas Mark 4 (180°C) and grease a standard baking tray.
2. Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl; add the butter in small pieces and rub in, then make a well in the centre.
3. Mix the milk and yoghurt together and pour most of the liquid into the centre, keeping a couple of tablespoonfuls back for brushing over the top of the finished loaf.
4. Mix the liquid in quickly using your hands to make a soft (but not too sticky) dough, then turn the dough out onto a floured surface. Knead it very lightly for a minute and form into a round cottage-style loaf.
5. Place the loaf on the greased tray and cut a deep cross on the top; brush the remains of the milk/yoghurt mixture all over the surface (you can use your hands if you don’t have a pastry brush) and sprinkle over the porridge oats, or whatever other herbs or seeds you want to use, if any.
6. Bake in the oven for 30–40 minutes and allow the loaf to cool for half an hour before eating.